1) Contrary to popular belief, waking up early isn't going to drastically change your life or effect how you're feeling. (Though you DO get to watch the beautiful sunrise.) So sleep till noon and relish in the way laying in bed all day makes you feel a little more human.
2) Drinking your coffee black doesn't make you more sophisticated or cooler than the rest of the people who load in milk and sugar.
3) Being unimpressed by everything makes you look like a TWAT. Get excited, be overly passionate about something. Enthusiasm is fun.
4) Hating yourself isn't romantic. Don't look for pity.
5) Eat whatever you want. Your friend is a vegetarian or a vegan? Great! Feel just as great for what you eat.
6) Don't try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you're knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It'll make life a lot easier.
7) If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of. Don't ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
8) Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
9) Fart whenever you have to.
10) Always remember you weren't born to visually please others. Forget the phrase "What if they think it's ugly?". If you think it's lovely, it's lovely. You want to wear it, wear it!
11) Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people's throats.